How to be perfect

Hiii theree muffins! Have you guys never thought about how it would be if you were just simply perfect? No problems, no hair struggles, no uglyness, only perfection? Well lucky for you my blog exists and I will tell you the ways how to throw away yourself and become so perfect that pink will delete her song ''Perfect'' from the world. 


1. Always drink coffee
How do you think you will reach perfection if you don't even drink coffee? Like coffee is the holy graile of everything. Coffee keeps you alive, coffee keeps you awake, coffee simply keeps you perfect. You can't accomplish anything without coffee, you will end up death without coffee. Coffee is so good for you, you won't get addicted to it at all, coffee is life. People who don't drink coffee will never reach any type of perfection in their life, please keep that in mind. 

2. Talk a lot about your weight
Talking a lot about how fat you are is necisserally even if you are skinny. Because if you keep telling people you need to lose weight and how less food you have eaten that day. People will deny it and say that you are skinny already and that will exactly be the thing you want to hear just to feel better about yourself and feel more perfect. Because you do need people to reach perfection, even if it's only so you can boost your own confidence. 

3. Buy a designer bag
If you don't have a designer bag, well than you are simply a nobody. You atleast have to own a michael kors bag if you ever wanna be someone in your life. How are you supposed to be perfect with a H&M bag or a bag from another unknown unimportant store. Designer is all you need in your life because that's all that matters, right? Designer things or else you won't be perfect.


4. Buy clothes every day/week
Your friends can't see you in the same clothes twice, no that's not even an option you can think of missy. If you want to be perfect you need to buy new clothes every week or even everyday because that's what you do if you are perfect. Because clothes make the person and nothing else. If your clothes are ugly, you won't achieve much in life and will not be perfect at all. 

5. Hate one direction and don't listen to way to popular music
So if you want to be perfect, you need to be different. Okay, not a lot different but atleast do something different because that's how you can reach perfection. I mean don't listen to one direction they can't sing and don't write there own songs and are waaaay to pop. No you need to listen to music that everyone likes but not pop music. Just more rock kind of bands or just music that people ''respect''. This will get yourself to be more perfect than others because you will feel a lot better than other people because you listen to ''good'' music, just like perfect people do. 


6. You, you & you
Everything is about you, remember that. There is one golden rule or let me say ''word'' and that word is ''You''. Because all that mathers is you and what you think and what you do and everyone else is just weird of course, I mean everything that's out of the box is weird and not perfect and not how it should be. Only your opinions mathers and is the best of course and feel free to bash other people, I mean those other people aren't perfect like you so why would you even care about their feelings. So REMEMBER it's all about you if you wan't to reach the tower of perfectionomia.

Oh it's already the end of this perfect article ''aaawwhh''. Well I hope you enjoyed my lovely sarcasme. Because I hate coffee, don't own a designer bag, don't talk a lot about my weight, don't buy clothes every week, don't hate one direction or any other type of pop music and the most important of all I am not selfish ahah. But of course some people do unfortunately, the poor souls. Anyway, I can start being cliché and talk about how nobody is perfect but I think you can all figure that out for yourself! Hopefully I made you laugh and see yaaa next timeeeeee. ( DONT FORGET TO ENTER MY GIVEAWAY)