Who's gonna be the first to say goodbye?

It’s been 22 days since Zayn has left One Direction, how funny that he is in fact 22 years old.

25 march was a sad day for all of us fans. One Direction has been a big part of my life and I feel the urge to write about this and post a blogpost about it. I know not everyone is interested in 1D, so I won't be surprised if not a lot of people read this, but I think as a fan I just need to express my feelings. And I express myself in the best way through my blog.

First, I will not stop being a fan of One Direction just because Zayn left the band. It saddens and hurts me to the bone but there are 4 angels left that need my support and want to continue with the band and I support that. They have helped me through so much and I can't let them down this time or ever.

I will be there until the whole band quits and 1D stops exciting, until than I'll scream the loudest at their concerts and applaud the longest for their successes.

1D's management told us that Zayn left for stress reasons but is always welcome to come back if he wants too. I think that's just shady because, we all know Zayn’s solo song was published on Sound Cloud and I think that if someone wants to be a normal 22-year old they don't start recording solo songs.

Later it was confirmed that he wanted to try being a solo artist and well I was really mad after I heard that because of the apparently lies we were told before. But now I'm thinking, who am I to judge him, we don't know what happened behind closed doors with their management. And it was also 1DHQ that posted that Zayn wanted to be a normal adult, Zayn didn't say anything himself. It saddens me that we haven't heard from him directly or the other boys about Zayn leaving. Only thankful tweets for the support, I know that's something, but it's not their opinion about him leaving  and I actually hope one day we will get a goodbye video from Zayn. Because I still can't cope with the fact that we only got a Facebook post. They make bigger announcements for their perfumes. 

Knowing that I will never have 5/5 interviews, award shows, funny moments or concerts brings tears to my eyes. But things do happen for a reason and I fell in love with 5 boys a long time ago and I am still in love with those 5 boys as my best mates. I am glad I already have seen them in concert because now a lot of us will never see them all together as they used to be. I feel bad for the On The Road Again tour countries that waited 5 years to see all the boys but didn't get to see Zayn ever perform. Not to forget they paid a lot of money.

I am happy and thankful for all the memories 5/5 gave me and I am looking forward to the memories that 4/4 will bring me and of course Zayn will stay in my heart and I will never forget him. If his new songs are nice I will support his music too, because a whole album full of Zayn’s holy voice is nothing but a gift from god. ;) 

Louis, Harry, Niall and Liam are still here, ready to run around the world, make music and give us all the love. It hurts to see Zayn leave but if that's what he wants, if that makes him  happy well than I'll accept it and I will be happy for him. Because his happiness is all that counts.